Here's the thing...

I've been working on something. It's a little bit longish. And I'm not really sure where it's going, but it feels good. I want to complete it and post it and see how it looks and reads. I want to know what people think. I suppose that in order for that to happen, people would have to know to look. But never mind that. The thing is that I've been working on it for a while now, pecking away here and there, thinking about it even when I'm not working on it, trying to give it shape and direction. I don't mean to actually compare myself to a great writer, but like Flannery O'Connor I suffer from a debilitating need to edit and re-write. It reads differently to me every time I sit down to it. I would hope that I'm working toward a better product each time I start reading it from the beginning, but I can't be sure. Maybe I'm just bending to my present frame of mind and not really achieving improvement at all. It's worrisome. I confess there's an outside chance that I'm afraid of ever actually getting it right because then I might actually have to let go of it, post it and let it stand on its own and be done, saying, "There. That's the best I could do". Because of course it never will be. That being said, it's late and I'm now tired. Also, the baristas want to close up shop. So it is that I must let this post stand on it's own because it is as good as it's ever going to be.